The Give and Get of Networking

Today, networking is more about cultivating relationships and fostering an equal exchange. Mention the idea of networking to a small-business owner and many will visibly cringe. Working a room of strangers, handing out business cards at parties or local events, or replaying a canned sales pitch to anyone who’s willing to listen isn’t the best use of their time, they’ll say, nor do most feel comfortable in high-octane selling mode.

If you’re one of those business owners put off by this view of networking, here’s the good news: Networking as a hard-core contact sport is definitely the wrong tactic for today’s way of doing business. Rather than using the opportunity to hit someone up for what they can do for you, good networking practices really constitute more of a give-and-take exchange, where you’re cultivating relationships with an extended group of people and calling on each other to share expertise and information as well as passing along contacts when and where they’re needed.

A change from sales-heavy, glad-handing practices may bring a sigh of relief to business owners, but many are still at a loss for how to get started with a softer approach. “They don’t teach this kind of networking in colleges and universities,” says Ivan Misner, founder and chairman of BNI (www.bni.com), a referral organization. “Most business owners don’t have a clue how to do it so they’re winging it.”

Rather than take such a haphazard approach, Misner’s BNI organization, as well as other networking experts, advise business owners to bring some consistency to their networking efforts. They suggest targeting a handful of groups that are best suited to the goals you’re trying to accomplish with networking as well as allotting a regular time in your weekly schedule for meetings or other networking-related opportunities.

Adapting your mind-set to be the giver in a networking relationship—rather than always being on the receiving end is another crucial adjustment. “Networking is not a transactional process—it’s not a quid quo pro,” Misner says. “That’s why the glad-handing approach to networking only goes so far because when you have that kind of relationship, people will do what you need the first time, but they won’t necessarily come back for a second and third time. Under the laws of reciprocity, you build relationships where people want to help you every time they can, especially if you’re willing to help them with no strings attached.”

A Mutual Give and Take
Rule No. 1 for any seasoned networker, then, is to ask questions of others, instead of launching into a sales pitch every time you meet someone that has potential synergies with your business. Bob Burg, a speaker and the author of Endless Referrals: Network Everyday Contacts into Sales, teaches his clients the importance of what he terms “feel good” questions that break the ice and let another party know you’re interested in what they do and not just as a prospect. Asking someone how they got started in their business or what they enjoy most about what they do are simple questions that take the immediate focus off you and give the stage to another person, Burg explains.

Going as far as to inquire about what constitutes a good prospect for them is a surefire way to distinguish yourself from others. “By asking them to help you help them, they see you’re a good person to have in their network,” says Burg, of Burg Communications Inc. (www.burg.com), in Jupiter, FL. “People start thinking about you as a center of influence and you become a person they want to be around. Then when someone else starts talking about your type of business, you’re the first one that comes to mind.”

Once they’ve mastered the mind-set change, business owners can push the concept a step further by altering the mix and playing host at their own networking event. “Think about changing your way of networking and how you do it,” says Ben Bradley, managing director at Bradley Wiltjer Marketing Group (www.bwmginc.com), a marketing agency in Aurora, IL. Consider a local caterer trying to grow business by word of mouth. By hosting a party and inviting past customers and potentially some of their contacts, the caterer can reinforce all of the positives about their food and services, while demonstrating how well they’re connected, he explains. Same for a landscape architect who enlists the help of a customer to host an open house showing off their joint project. “If you get a group of people in a room where they can network and improve their rolodexes, what you’ve done is given them a benefit—a warm fuzzy,” Bradley says. “You’ve demonstrated how connected you are, how valuable you are, and how talented you are, by doing instead of by telling.”

Of course, the endgame of networking is not just scoping the next potential sale. Most successful networkers say the exercise is even more helpful when used as a learning tool, especially for a small-business owner who has to wear many hats and has limited dollars for hiring consultants.

Alice Seba, owner, founder, and editor of Internet Based Moms (www.internetbasedmoms.com), approaches networking in just that fashion. Before starting her site, which provides information and resources geared to stay-at-home moms starting online businesses, Seba tapped Web communities and forums to learn everything from how to build a Web site to where to locate possible contractors to help her run her own business. Seba is still networking online and putting much of what she’s learned to good use. She’s also benefited from contacts she’s met in the virtual world who’ve helped her with everything from copywriting to public relations.

Seba practices what she preaches in the community forums and chat rooms of her own site. Posting ads about products or services are a big no-no, as are aggressively soliciting contacts. “Instead of worrying about what people can do for you, it’s important to approach networking as what you can do for others,” Seba explains.

Mark Welling, president of Ipswich Cabinetry, a custom cabinetmaker, can also attest to the information-gathering powers of networking—whether online or in person. While his networking efforts have helped drum up new business, the groups he is involved with have also done wonders for expanding his knowledge in areas such as accounting and health insurance, where he has no formal training or available resources. “In a small business like mine, you have to be able to gather a lot of information that normally would be picked up by a devoted employee—anything from accounting practices to looking at what health insurance or machinery works best for our particular business,” says Welling, in Ipswich, MA. “Networking is a source of information for me and enables me to make better business decisions.

While Welling participates in several industry-specific networking groups and online forums, eight months ago he started as a member of a local BNI chapter and that’s where he’s had the most quantifiable success. He’s hooked up with an accountant he met through the group, who is coaching him on the financial ramifications of a possible expansion into retail. He’s also received related guidance from members on what it takes to run a retail business, not to mention personal advice for his wife’s back injury from a chiropractor who happened to be in his group.

Participation in the BNI networking group has also had a significant impact on sales. Since joining, Welling says revenue for the second half of 2005 was up 15% based on direct business done with members of the BNI networking group. For all that he gets from his networking activities, Welling is fully prepared to give back. He’s gotten involved in the sales process of one of his vendors—a maker of a software package specifically designed for custom cabinetmakers—because he believes so strongly in their product. He also participates in community organizations like Habitat for Humanity because it’s important, not because it could generate new business.

Says Welling: “In networking, and in life in general, people who are willing to give the most don’t have to worry about where their business is coming from because it will come back to them.” BA

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